I took a bike ride today around the Rose Bowl in Pasadena – a short 10 minute drive from my home.

On my last lap I met Saul, a maintenance worker at nearby Huntington Hospital.  He was plugging along at a steady 12 miles per hour up a slight incline as I pulled up alongside.  I nodded and said “Hi” as I began to pass him.

He gave me a huge grin, pulled his earphone out, and greeted me, “Great day for a ride, eh? Good to see you out here.”  His energy was magnetic. Probably in his late 50’s or 60’s, his eyes were hidden behind cycling glasses, but an endearing smile gleamed out from the life lines etched into his brown face.

I decided to drop my agenda for pushing myself through my last lap and slowed down to talk.  “Beautiful day, but my legs are killing me,” I told him, “I’m in the worst cycling shape of my life.”

He laughed and said, “Keep at it.  It gets better the more you do it.” And then he told me his story.

Make the Most of What You’ve Got

A year ago he was pre-diabetic and his blood pressure was high.  He was “tired of being old and fat” and decided to return to something he loved as a kid — riding his bike.  He works from 6 a.m. to 2 p.m. then comes to the Rose Bowl to put in his miles.  He loves it.  And he has lost 45 pounds and his health is great!

“The best part is how good I feel after I ride. I love feeling healthy. It’s not just good for my body, it clears my mind, gives me peace…just riding my bike!  You know what I’m doing, I’m just living like I’m dying, that’s it! I make the most of each day, ’cause that’s all I got. You never know how much life you’ve got left.  Gotta make the most of what you’ve got.”

Making the Most of Jazz at the Hollywood Bowl with My Beloved Dave and "Little" Ruth

Living Like I’m Dying

I’ve had a blessed nineteen years of life since my diagnosis and treatment for breast cancer in 1992.  In the early years of life post-breast cancer, I did what Saul is doing — made the most of each day, did things that brought me joy, spent time with people I loved and rode my bike a lot!

In those days of “living like I’m dying,” people and pursuing my passions were more important than productivity.

In recent years my agendas for productivity battle for space on my calendar.  Saul’s interruption of my agenda to push myself on this ride was a reminder that while productivity can be a very good thing; it can also completely screw up my priorities.

People are more important than products.  Loving and enjoying my productivity but being unattached to outcomes is essential. When the drive to produce turns me into Bitchy Cissy or Pissy Cissy, it’s time to stop and get my priorities straight.

Thanks be to God for Wise Men dressed in spandex!

I hope you are making time and space in your life for the people and passions that energize and give you joy this Fall.

The poet Kabir wrote “if a mirror ever makes you sad, you should know that it does not know you.” Wise words from a male Indian poet who lived over 500 years ago.

Remember what Aibilene says to Mae Moberly in “The Help” – Don’t ever forget it:  You is kind.  You is smart.  You is important.

If the mirror tells you anything else, throw it out.  It ain’t worth it’s weight in gold.  (And gold is at an all time high right now).

My eight year old red Doberman fur-child Harvest’s Thanksgiving Grace (her official registration name) passed away on Sunday after a spirited nine months of living with oral cancer.

Grace - May 2011

My husband put it well in his Facebook obituary:  “Grace truly lived up to her name, not only in her style but even more in her unabashed and infectious zest for life. You couldn’t overlook Grace. Her presence lit up her surroundings and she always drew attention — whether frolicking at the beach dog park or strutting her stuff at a dog show in her younger days. She lived (and loved) life to its fullest and blessed us by her example RIP, girl.”

In honor of her passing, I’m re-posting an entry from my first blog on Yahoo Shine written in 2008.  It’s just one of many “graces” God gave me through our beloved Gracie Girl.

Training Grace

Smart, strong and sassy, her champion genes make her stunningly beautiful and intensely self-possessed.

Walking Grace is not a graceful experience!  I often feel more like I’m the one being taken for a ride rather than the one leading the way — especially if we’ve missed a few days of outings.  Her energy and enthusiasm for being on the road again is uncontainable.

It isn’t that Grace isn’t well trained.  She comes when called (most of the time), “sits” on command and “stays” as directed–except when she jumps up and dances around awaiting the next opportunity to please me.

The problem isn’t that Grace is insubordinate or rebellious.  Far from it.  She just obeys her own interpretations of the instructions.

One morning I let Grace run free in the hillside amphitheater at the local college. Skye, our blue Doberman, followed close behind.  After a few minutes I called Grace to “come” — where Grace leads, Skye will follow.  Grace turned on a dime, circling back toward me.  Within seconds she flew past with Skye on her heals and ran up the hillside at far end of the arena.  After much sniffing and ignoring my commands to “come”,  she pranced back, flopped at my feet, tongue flapping like a wet flag in a wind storm and stared up at me in delight.

I’m like that with God.  I obey…on my own terms. Grace did what I asked–she came when called.  But she had her own idea as to the follow thru.

I do that too.  I follow the initial directive, then take off in my own version of Doberman self-possession.

As I “train” Grace, I am also being trained. We  are learning together how to contain and direct her beautiful energy in productive ways. At the same time, God is training me to manage and regulate my own beautiful energy in more life-enhancing ways.

In my health coaching program I teach the things I need to learn–like energy regulation. Effective energy regulation makes for better walks and healthier lives. God is teaching me.  I am teaching Grace.  Grace is teaching me.  I teach my members.  My members teach me.  God teaches all of us.

Training Grace is both what I do each time I work with my dog and what brings me back to God each time I get too full of myself and run off in my own direction.  Grace softens the hard blows of training both dogs like Grace and women like me.

Grace is central to the programs and workshops I offer.  The rules and regulations offered by traditional diets and fitness centers are too harsh for many of us.  We need the structure, support and information they offer but in a softer, gentler version.

An extensive study by Harvard University researchers reveals that french fries are the food most significantly associated with weight gain. 

Rounding out the list of edibles prone to pack on the extra pounds are potato chips, sugar-sweetened drinks, red meats and processed meats, other forms of potatoes, sweets and desserts, refined grains, other fried foods, 100-percent fruit juice and butter.

An article in the NY Times quotes one of the lead researchers as saying “There are good foods and bad foods, and the advice should be to eat the good foods more and the bad foods less.”

Labeling foods good and bad may work for folks without troubled relationships with food, but for the rest of us it tends to suck the enjoyment out of what is meant to be a pleasurable and satisfying part of our daily life.

I agree that we need to become more aware of what we eat and how it impacts our bodies.  For the most part, the recent addition of nutritional content on the menus of major food chains has been a helpful wake up call to many of those I work with.  But  “good” and “bad” food lists don’t work in the long run.  They only extend the cycle of false hope, failure, and self-condemnation deeply engrained in the experience  of long-term dieters.

A more empowering model is to  “pay attention” to how specific foods effect the way you feel in your body.

I know when I eat a significant amount of high sugar or fat foods, especially alone or in combination with  other very dense foods, my digestive tract says “Too much.”  My body just doesn’t process all those heavy foods well.

If you’ve tried and failed at the “good/bad” food game, consider listening to your body.  Here are a few prompts to help you get started:

• Notice how you feel after grabbing only a cup of coffee for breakfast?
• How’s you energy after eating a big dish of pasta with cream sauce compared to a smaller portion balanced with some steamed vegetables or a salad?
• What do you notice when you come home from work and flop on the couch to watch television the rest of the evening?
• What do you notice after taking a brisk 15 minute walk instead of flopping on the sofa after work?
• How do you feel when you overeat, over drink, or under sleep?

Studies like this are great for confirming what our bodies already know.  But, our greatest problem isn’t that we’re stupid or lacking information about what is “good” and “bad” for us. Our greatest problem is that we’ve stopped listening to the inherent wisdom of our bodies.

No time to write.  No problem.  Thanks be to God for the body of Christ where many members with different gifts bring the good news of God’s grace.

Please check out my pastor Chris’ blog.  He brings a refreshing word of freedom for any of us lured by the idols of “beauty” offered in our culture :

Image & Idolatry: are you good looking or are you beautiful?

What you’ve always known to be true is now confirmed: you really are a size 8, and a size 10, and a size 14 — just depends on where you shop!

Manufacturers use  vanity sizing to delude us into thinking we’re getting smaller (and spend more money because we’re feeling so good about the lower number), when in fact the clothes are getting bigger.

What was a size 10 jean twenty-five years ago is now a size 6!  While that may bring momentary relief when we slide into a smaller size, we also may suffer great angst when the equation goes against us.  Recently a pair of jeans in my “usual” size wouldn’t slide more than half way up my thighs.  My thighs do tend to buff up a bit when I’m cycling more, but that was ridiculous!

A number of companies are attempting to address the disparity among different designers and stores by making it easier for us to find the right size and fit with less hassle.  But our best defense against the emotional ups and downs of the dressing room is mental preparation.  Before you go shopping, take a few minutes to ground yourself in the truth:

“I am not a number on a tag.  I am a human being.”

Don’t let the fashion industry delude you into believing that your self-worth is tied to a size.  Neither the relief or the angst associated with those numbers accurately reflects anything about you.  They are by-products of an industry that says it wants to make us feel beautiful, but is really all about profiting on our insecurities — which they do a great job perpetuating with games like this one.

If you want to arm yourself with more information, check out this sizing chart for more details on the disparity among different stores.

That isn’t what she calls herself.  But it’s my pet name for my wise soul sister Colleen Gallion.  She’s started blogging and will be an excellent source for those seeking a new way of being in your body and your life. 

Colleen helped me give birth to the Alive & Well health coaching program back in 2007.  She’s a fountain of wisdom and inspiration for both my personal and professional life.

Disengagement from our real experience of embodied life is a primary contributor to all manner of physical, mental and spiritual problems.   See what Colleen has to say about that in her most recent blog  “Cane, Cast or Mask?”

Check her out and be inspired and entertained.

See for yourself what some experts are noting about the benefits of being less well-endowed!  I don’t have time to investigate the research right now, but it sounds legitimate.  Check it out for yourself and see what you think.

And, if you have a story to share about your experience — on either side of the discussion — please share your story.  I’d love to hear from the women–after all, we are the experts on our bodies.

This morning my lower right torso, hip, and leg felt tight and “out-of-whack.”

My immediate response was to stretch.  Makes sense, right?

Wrong!  Stretching already tight muscles without warming up tends to exacerbate the problem.  The tension is there for reason.  Tightness and discomfort are your body’s way of calling for help.

“Warming up” the muscles through gentle movement is like hearing the full story before you offer advice to a troubled friend.  It’s a way listen to the muscles and get a sense of what is happening, before attempting to fix the problem.

So, like a good friend, I took time to listen to my troubled body.

Today that included several rounds of “cat-cow” and “child’s” pose as well a few gentle twists—all in harmony with deep, full breathing in and out through my nose. I matched my breath to my movement while listening to my lower right back, sensing what I needed.

After a few minutes on my knees, I stood up in mountain pose, stretched my arms to the sky and stretched gently to one side then the other.  Then, I bent forward and explored my lower back in forward fold, downhill skier pose, half forward fold and then came back to the forward fold position.

Along the way, I felt a gentle shift in my hip socket followed by a releasing of the tightness!  Re-alignment of my femur bone in the hip socket resolved the problem in a way that impulsive action could not.  Tight muscles weren’t the problem.  They were symptoms of the misalignment of my skeletal structure.

Symptoms invite us to pay attention, to listen to our lives more carefully.

Like the impulse to stretch without inquiry, I’m also prone to impulsive responses to my heart.  Irritability with my husband, impatience while waiting in line, or tears welling up behind my eyes—like physical aches and pains—indicate misalignment.  I often want to “fix” Dave, criticize the store for poor customer service, or ignore my tears.

Befriending my body—like befriending my loved ones, cashiers, and even my own heart—takes practice.

We learn by practice.

When faced with an impulse to “fix” your body, try doing for your body what you already know how to do so well for others: listen first.  With practice, I bet you’ll be surprised by what you hear!

Today is the first day of National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. Communities and universities across the country will hold events to educate and inspire participants with healthy ways to approach diet, exercise and beauty.

I attended a kickoff event on Saturday evening where “plus-size” model Crystal Renn, author of Hungry: A Young Model’s Story of Appetite, Ambition and the Ultimate Embrace of Curves, spoke about her passion for size diversity in the modeling industry. She is a former “straight size” model who earned success in the mainstream fashion industry through compulsive exercise and restrictive eating.  But when her self-destructive patterns couldn’t keep her skinny enough to meet those standards, she found hope in the plus-size segment of the industry.  Her discovery that she could eat normally and still work at the job she loved marked the beginning of her recovery.

I was taken by her boldness and courage, but my instinct told me that something was not right.  I couldn’t articulate it well enough to speak up during the question and answer time, but clarity came as I talked with my colleague Allison and her husband Steven on the drive home.

Disordered eating is rooted in an insecure self-image. Research indicates that exposure to idealized images of beauty is a primary contributor to the onset of negative body image—typically  the first symptom to develop and the last to heal in the course of an eating disorder.  Beauty and fitness magazines can be primary sources of distorted views of beauty and strength that exacerbate young people’s already unstable identity development.

The fashion industry profits from insecure self-image, using a form of marketing called “aspirational advertising” to increase profits. These ads use unrealistic images of beauty—something to “aspire” toward—to sell us products promising to alleviate the very psychological discontent the ad feeds.

The ultimate goal is not to make us feel beautiful, but to cash in on our insecurities:  Am I okay?  Am I beautiful?  Am I good enough?  Do you like me?

Tom Ford, a top designer, says he wants women to feel beautiful, but, like Chrystal, his perspective is clouded by his financial dependence on the fashion industry. His casual remark, “I’m just trying to make pretty clothes.  And beautiful clothes make beautiful women…” reveals the not-so-beautiful truth.  To the fashion industry, you really aren’t beautiful in the skin you came in—or in your favorite grungy jeans and old college sweatshirt.  Your package isn’t complete without the designer clothes.

I say beautiful women just are!  Beauty is our birthright. No one makes you or I “feel” beautiful.  We allow ourselves to feel less than beautiful when we measure ourselves according to others’ ideals of beauty.

Made in the image of the Creator, originally naked and unashamed, our instinct to cover ourselves—both physically and psychologically—is protective. We live in a world where kids bully each other and adults contrive ways to use our basic human insecurities for their own profits.  While it is necessary and good to clothe ourselves, we don’t need to let others determine what is fashionable.

To reclaim our original beauty we need to know that we are loved just as we are. The truth I always come back to when I’ve fallen into an insecurity rut is simple but elusive:  there is nothing I can do to make God love me more and nothing I can do to make God love me less.  All other loves will end, but the love of God endures forever.  Maintaining a deep and abiding connection to God’s love is foundational to good health and true beauty.

We also need to remember who we are—women created in the image of the Creator of all that is beautiful, good and true. We are already beautiful, just as we are.  But when we fill our minds with images of other people’s notions of beauty, we can’t even begin to see ourselves accurately.

A concrete step you can take to reclaim your original beauty is to resist the aspirational advertising of the fashion and cosmetics industries. Feelings follow thoughts.  When thoughts and images determined by advertisers fill your mind, you’ll continue to feel “less than.”   Careful consumption of (or, better yet, elimination of exposure) beauty magazines is a powerful way to prevent and heal negative body image.

For more on media literacy and other practical steps for reclaiming your original beauty, please check out NEDA’s website for handouts you can use and pass on to others.