No time to write. No problem. Thanks be to God for the body of Christ where many members with different gifts bring the good news of God’s grace.
Please check out my pastor Chris’ blog. He brings a refreshing word of freedom for any of us lured by the idols of “beauty” offered in our culture :
What you’ve always known to be true is now confirmed: you really are a size 8, and a size 10, and a size 14 — just depends on where you shop!
Manufacturers use vanity sizing to delude us into thinking we’re getting smaller (and spend more money because we’re feeling so good about the lower number), when in fact the clothes are getting bigger.
What was a size 10 jean twenty-five years ago is now a size 6! While that may bring momentary relief when we slide into a smaller size, we also may suffer great angst when the equation goes against us. Recently a pair of jeans in my “usual” size wouldn’t slide more than half way up my thighs. My thighs do tend to buff up a bit when I’m cycling more, but that was ridiculous!
A number of companies are attempting to address the disparity among different designers and stores by making it easier for us to find the right size and fit with less hassle. But our best defense against the emotional ups and downs of the dressing room is mental preparation. Before you go shopping, take a few minutes to ground yourself in the truth:
“I am not a number on a tag. I am a human being.”
Don’t let the fashion industry delude you into believing that your self-worth is tied to a size. Neither the relief or the angst associated with those numbers accurately reflects anything about you. They are by-products of an industry that says it wants to make us feel beautiful, but is really all about profiting on our insecurities — which they do a great job perpetuating with games like this one.
If you want to arm yourself with more information, check out this sizing chart for more details on the disparity among different stores.
That isn’t what she calls herself. But it’s my pet name for my wise soul sister Colleen Gallion. She’s started blogging and will be an excellent source for those seeking a new way of being in your body and your life. 
Colleen helped me give birth to the Alive & Well health coaching program back in 2007. She’s a fountain of wisdom and inspiration for both my personal and professional life.
Disengagement from our real experience of embodied life is a primary contributor to all manner of physical, mental and spiritual problems. See what Colleen has to say about that in her most recent blog “Cane, Cast or Mask?”
Check her out and be inspired and entertained.
See for yourself what some experts are noting about the benefits of being less well-endowed! I don’t have time to investigate the research right now, but it sounds legitimate. Check it out for yourself and see what you think.
And, if you have a story to share about your experience — on either side of the discussion — please share your story. I’d love to hear from the women–after all, we are the experts on our bodies.
This morning my lower right torso, hip, and leg felt tight and “out-of-whack.”
My immediate response was to stretch. Makes sense, right?
Wrong! Stretching already tight muscles without warming up tends to exacerbate the problem. The tension is there for reason. Tightness and discomfort are your body’s way of calling for help.
“Warming up” the muscles through gentle movement is like hearing the full story before you offer advice to a troubled friend. It’s a way listen to the muscles and get a sense of what is happening, before attempting to fix the problem.
So, like a good friend, I took time to listen to my troubled body.
Today that included several rounds of “cat-cow” and “child’s” pose as well a few gentle twists—all in harmony with deep, full breathing in and out through my nose. I matched my breath to my movement while listening to my lower right back, sensing what I needed.
After a few minutes on my knees, I stood up in mountain pose, stretched my arms to the sky and stretched gently to one side then the other. Then, I bent forward and explored my lower back in forward fold, downhill skier pose, half forward fold and then came back to the forward fold position.
Along the way, I felt a gentle shift in my hip socket followed by a releasing of the tightness! Re-alignment of my femur bone in the hip socket resolved the problem in a way that impulsive action could not. Tight muscles weren’t the problem. They were symptoms of the misalignment of my skeletal structure.
Symptoms invite us to pay attention, to listen to our lives more carefully.
Like the impulse to stretch without inquiry, I’m also prone to impulsive responses to my heart. Irritability with my husband, impatience while waiting in line, or tears welling up behind my eyes—like physical aches and pains—indicate misalignment. I often want to “fix” Dave, criticize the store for poor customer service, or ignore my tears.
Befriending my body—like befriending my loved ones, cashiers, and even my own heart—takes practice.
We learn by practice.
When faced with an impulse to “fix” your body, try doing for your body what you already know how to do so well for others: listen first. With practice, I bet you’ll be surprised by what you hear!
Today is the first day of National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. Communities and universities across the country will hold events to educate and inspire participants with healthy ways to approach diet, exercise and beauty.
I attended a kickoff event on Saturday evening where “plus-size” model Crystal Renn, author of Hungry: A Young Model’s Story of Appetite, Ambition and the Ultimate Embrace of Curves, spoke about her passion for size diversity in the modeling industry. She is a former “straight size” model who earned success in the mainstream fashion industry through compulsive exercise and restrictive eating. But when her self-destructive patterns couldn’t keep her skinny enough to meet those standards, she found hope in the plus-size segment of the industry. Her discovery that she could eat normally and still work at the job she loved marked the beginning of her recovery.
I was taken by her boldness and courage, but my instinct told me that something was not right. I couldn’t articulate it well enough to speak up during the question and answer time, but clarity came as I talked with my colleague Allison and her husband Steven on the drive home.
Disordered eating is rooted in an insecure self-image. Research indicates that exposure to idealized images of beauty is a primary contributor to the onset of negative body image—typically the first symptom to develop and the last to heal in the course of an eating disorder. Beauty and fitness magazines can be primary sources of distorted views of beauty and strength that exacerbate young people’s already unstable identity development.
The fashion industry profits from insecure self-image, using a form of marketing called “aspirational advertising” to increase profits. These ads use unrealistic images of beauty—something to “aspire” toward—to sell us products promising to alleviate the very psychological discontent the ad feeds.
The ultimate goal is not to make us feel beautiful, but to cash in on our insecurities: Am I okay? Am I beautiful? Am I good enough? Do you like me?
Tom Ford, a top designer, says he wants women to feel beautiful, but, like Chrystal, his perspective is clouded by his financial dependence on the fashion industry. His casual remark, “I’m just trying to make pretty clothes. And beautiful clothes make beautiful women…” reveals the not-so-beautiful truth. To the fashion industry, you really aren’t beautiful in the skin you came in—or in your favorite grungy jeans and old college sweatshirt. Your package isn’t complete without the designer clothes.
I say beautiful women just are! Beauty is our birthright. No one makes you or I “feel” beautiful. We allow ourselves to feel less than beautiful when we measure ourselves according to others’ ideals of beauty.
Made in the image of the Creator, originally naked and unashamed, our instinct to cover ourselves—both physically and psychologically—is protective. We live in a world where kids bully each other and adults contrive ways to use our basic human insecurities for their own profits. While it is necessary and good to clothe ourselves, we don’t need to let others determine what is fashionable.
To reclaim our original beauty we need to know that we are loved just as we are. The truth I always come back to when I’ve fallen into an insecurity rut is simple but elusive: there is nothing I can do to make God love me more and nothing I can do to make God love me less. All other loves will end, but the love of God endures forever. Maintaining a deep and abiding connection to God’s love is foundational to good health and true beauty.
We also need to remember who we are—women created in the image of the Creator of all that is beautiful, good and true. We are already beautiful, just as we are. But when we fill our minds with images of other people’s notions of beauty, we can’t even begin to see ourselves accurately.
A concrete step you can take to reclaim your original beauty is to resist the aspirational advertising of the fashion and cosmetics industries. Feelings follow thoughts. When thoughts and images determined by advertisers fill your mind, you’ll continue to feel “less than.” Careful consumption of (or, better yet, elimination of exposure) beauty magazines is a powerful way to prevent and heal negative body image.
For more on media literacy and other practical steps for reclaiming your original beauty, please check out NEDA’s website for handouts you can use and pass on to others.
I fell in love with indoor cycling
five minutes into my first class in 1995. In the early days of Spinning I took two or three classes a week. I loved the speed, the sweat, and the music. Plus, it met my extrovert needs for camaraderie without worrying about a group crash that sometimes occurs on the road. My attendance is more sporadic these days, but I remain a big fan of this high intensity cardio workout.
My health club recently acquired new bikes which track RPMs (revolutions per minute), wattage, time, distance and calories burned. I guess this is akin to the rollout of upgrades on the iphone. This is the “2.0” of indoor cycling. They’ve taken it to the next level by adding computerized performance measures designed to make the classes more effective. Plus, I’m sure it adds a selling feature for the club (“Only at Equinox…generation 2.0 of the latest in indoor cycling”), while also generating more profit for the manufacturer. Everybody wins, right?
Do I sound skeptical? Indeed I am!
I took my first “monitored” class the other evening. I did not like it! I found it distracting and disembodying. I don’t want to know my power output (wattage). I just want to ride my bike, enjoy the power of my body, and sweat.
It used to be we’d monitor our intensity based on a simple 1-10 scale. A flat road was somewhere from 3-5. At 6 you began a slight incline. At 8 and higher you rode a steep hill. RPMs were guesstimates at best, but everyone seemed to get a good sweat going and enjoy the ride. And, best of all, we felt better afterward! There’s nothing like a good spin to release stress and re-boot my mood at the end of the day.
But now, you don’t even need to attach your head to your body to know how your ride is going. The monitor does it all for you. Just follow the little numbers on the screen and you can be completely disengaged from how your body feels, what your legs are doing, or even if you’re still breathing. Isn’t technology great!
The instructor did a fine job introducing the monitor, telling us where to look and what it meant. But I didn’t want to use the “wattage” number to gauge my workout. I spent the past twenty years learning to listen to my body. Why would I give that precious commodity up for the supposed benefit afforded by technological advances in fitness?
The spinning bike was the only cardio device available at my club that didn’t have numbers monitoring my progress. I liked that. I paid for that.
Now the great numbers game 
has taken over the spinning experience as well. What’s next? A pedometer that will measure the number of calories burned while climbing trees, skipping stones across a river or building forts in the backyard? Hey – great idea! We can attach them to children and give them extra treats when they burn enough calories. Now that’s a great way to motivate people to move isn’t it?
Do I sound cynical? Sorry. I don’t want to be critical. But we don’t need more devices to track progress, or programs to tell us how to move or what we should or shouldn’t eat. What we need is to listen to the wisdom of our own bodies.
I am greatly concerned about the national health crisis–especially the startling rise in obesity among children. But if teaching people to track numbers—be it on exercise equipment or on nutritional labels—replaces teaching them to listen to their own bodies, we’re on a fast track to even poorer health and higher rates of obesity in the future.
I say throw out the monitors and teach people how to sense and track their own progress through body awareness. It is a natural “monitoring” device that can be accessed by people all over the world, anytime, anyplace. Best of all, it’s free!
But keep it quiet! If the word gets out that people are practicing body awareness some smart Steve Jobs type will invent an upgrade and try to sell it to us.
My husband Dave cooked a scrumptious Asian themed Thanksgiving dinner.
I ate as mindfully as one can at a dinner table with seven other people. I took small second portions of my two favorites dishes: the red miso glazed carrots and sweet potato with five spice marshmallows. At the end of the meal I felt satisfied and full, but not too full.
But I forgot to save room for dessert: his mom’s famous pear pie.
After the pie and coffee, I was too full. My belly’s discomfort reminded me that eating too much is not a loving way to treat my body. And, if I repeat this on a regular basis, my excellent fat cells will do a fabulous job collecting the unused energy and storing it as fat to get me through the next famine. That’s what fat cells do! And mine are well trained at their job.
Avoid Holiday Weight Gain with Mindful Eating
The best studies indicate that the average person gains one or two pounds during the holidays. One or two pounds doesn’t sound like a lot, but most people don’t ever lose that extra weight. Researchers suggest that this accounts for the one to two pound per year midlife weight gain that is typical for all adults, even those without emotionally driven relationships with food.
Mindful eating is a proven way to prevent holiday weight gain. Eat slowly and savor each bite. It takes up to twenty minutes for your stomach to communicate “satisfied” to your mind. And, if you’re like me, your mouth takes about two days, making it a very unreliable monitor of food intake! Wait at least twenty minutes and then check in with your body before you go back for seconds.
It isn’t easy to stay attentive to your body when your mouth–and perhaps your heart—are craving just one more bacon wrapped scallop appetizer or a piece of pear pie!
But if you don’t stop and pay attention, you’re going to regret it sooner or later. It may be an immediate sense of discomfort after sampling a bit too much of everything at a potluck. Or it may be the slow, gradual weight gain that results from snacking on holiday cookies or sipping eggnog lattes.
Deprivation Driven Eating
Holiday overeating is driven by a deprivation mentality that tells us to try everything in sight because it’s only available once a year. “Besides, it’s just one cookie.”
By the end of the month one cookie turns into dozens of cookies. And mindless consumption of seasonal lattes end up doing far more good for the success of Starbuck’s marketing department than for either your bank account or your body.
Not that there’s anything wrong with eating a cookie or drinking a latte. But, a few too many cookies or lattes over the next month, plus random snacking on goodies at work and holiday parties all add up to a lot of extra energy that your very wise and well trained fat cells will store as extra weight.
Did I hear someone say, “Famine please!
Saving Room for Savoring the Sweetness
Last night I saved room for a piece of leftover pear pie, but then choose not to have it. My sensory pleasure seeking self listened to my body rather than my mouth. My body definitely didn’t need any more calories. I chose the lasting pleasure of a satisfied but not strained digestive system rather than the immediate gratification of a piece of pie.
Saving room for dessert is a good principle for holiday eating and scheduling. It’s tempting to pack too much onto our calendars and end up missing the sweetness of the holy days of December. A flurry of activity, engagement and consumption lulls us into a false sense of satisfaction that leaves little space for cultivating qualities of love, joy, peace, and compassion that are the essence of the holy days we celebrate this month.
The holy moments of life—where time stands still and we feel inexpressible gratitude, wonder, awe—cannot be programmed. They are marked by a savoring of the sweetness of life that comes to us in both expected and unexpected encounters. Sometimes at planned events like weddings or holiday gatherings, but more often in the unscripted places of sunsets, bedrooms, and hospitals. Intensity of emotional presence, coupled with a sense of being held by a power and love greater than ourselves, meets us in these moments. When it passes we are left with a deeper sense of our own aliveness and our connection to others.
When my stomach is stuffed full from dinner or my calendar is packed with commitments, I don’t have room to savor the sweetness that may or may not be on the menu. But, at least I won’t be too full to enjoy it if it is. And, rather than feeling uncomfortably full from too much living, I’ll be able to truly savor the sweetness of the season.
May we treat ourselves kindly this holiday season by mindfully eating and scheduling our lives so that there’s room to savor the sweets that may be on the menu!
Sometimes it’s good for your health to just stop and rest. Our five and a-half year old Doberman Skye taught me this lesson yesterday.
She got up and ate breakfast as usual, but once she lay down for her morning siesta she refused to get up, even when coaxed with the offer of a treat. Her hanging head, droopy eyes and low energy were uncharacteristic. She also felt warm and a bit clammy. Both my husband and I were concerned so I scheduled an appointment with the veterinarian.
Throughout the day her lethargy increased and she became more resistant to getting up from her bed. When I lay next to her, gently petting and loving her, she just looked up with her sad eyes and then looked away. Once up, she hesitated and went slowly but didn’t show signs of significant injury.
I had to drag her off the bed when it was time for her appointment. She hung her head and followed me outside but refused to climb into the car. She got her front feet onto the floor behind the driver’s seat, then stopped and looked at me. I lifted her rear end and boosted her up onto the seat. She pulled her front legs up on her own and collapsed in a heap tucking her nose and curling up—gazing at me with gloomy eyes.
The vet took her temperature, manually examined her belly, legs, mouth and other parts for problems. “It’s a mystery. We can run blood tests or x-ray her insides to make sure nothing’s wrong, but I’m not sure that’s necessary. I’d wait and see how she is tomorrow.”
The rest of the day and evening she maintained her refusal to move for anything other than food, but her mood and energy brightened a bit.
This morning she’s back to her old frisky self — dancing around the kitchen in celebration of breakfast and tussling with our other dog Grace.
Skye was listening to her body yesterday. She knew she needed to stop and she did. One day of deep rest and she’s back to normal.
I tend to delay stopping as long as possible. Like my group member Monica who tried to come back from a sprained ankle too quickly and ended up in recovery for over a year, I often refuse to stop moving even when my instinct tells me it’s in my own best interest.
We live in a world that highly values productivity, busyness and activity. The women I work with are often over-achievers. They’ve succeeded by adapting to a culturally sanctioned too-busy lifestyle. But at some point it’s stopped working for them. Their health, relationships and sometimes even their work performance begin to suffer—usually in that order.
I teach them what I’m still learning myself. And they teach me through their examples of both success and failure. We’re learning together lessons that dogs and children know instinctively: stop and rest when you’re tired, ask for help when you need a boost, and dance when you’re happy!
May we all be more connected to our natural instincts to stop for rest, to ask for help, and to dance!
A Bad Knee?
One day in yoga class my teacher Mark asked, “Is that your bad knee?“ A knowledgeable and compassionate teacher, Mark knew about my injury and wisely asked before correcting my alignment.
I’m surprised by how often people refer to my injured knee as “bad.” Why do we so quickly label body parts and symptoms as bad? ”I’ve got a bad tooth…stomach…foot… a bad headache…cold…flu.”
“I don’t have a bad knee” I replied.
I knew that Mark was referring to my injury. I could have just said “Yes” and let it be.
No Bad Body Parts
But everything in me said, “No. My body is a good body. Don’t call my body bad.” I felt like mother sticking up for her child. “Don’t talk dirt about my knee. You may be the teacher, but that doesn’t give you permission to talk bad about me!”
Mark corrected himself and said, “Okay. I mean your challenged knee.”
I said it was and he said, “Okay, then I won’t tell you to straighten it.”
I drew my attention to my leg and mindfully worked the knee a bit straighter, sensing the muscles, ligaments and tendons move into a new position. It felt good to gently push myself.
I am grateful for Mark’s combination of precision in alignment and gentle correction. He did for me what I couldn’t do for myself.
Speak Up for Yourself
I am also grateful that I love myself enough to not let anyone speak ill of any part of me—including my knee! Twenty years ago I might not have done that. While I would have challenged someone calling me a bad person, or speaking ill of my loved one, I might not have challenged that same assignment of meaning to my body.
I did for my knee what it couldn’t do for itself—challenge the negative language so commonly used when speaking about physical challenges and symptoms.
Most often it isn’t someone else we need to confront. We’re our own worst critics when it comes to our bodies. How often do you judge your body or assign negative labels to your body?
New Ways of Talking About Your Body
It’s difficult to change long-standing behaviors, but practice creates new patterns. The next time you catch yourself speaking badly about your body, see if you can find a kinder way to talk about your aches, pains and problems. Descriptive language—“I have a sore tooth…a painful headache…an injured knee”—is a more accurate and loving way to talk about yourself.
Be a good mother to yourself–speak lovingly of your body and challenge yourself or anyone else who doesn’t.
0
Back to top