What eating disorder patients really need is to learn how to manage their deep desire to love and be loved in a world that doesn’t operate according to the law of Love.

That’s where I suspect their deep sense of right and wrong, black and white thinking, “over” sensitivity and a host of other “symptoms” stems from.  Researchers are looking at temperament.  I think there’s something deeper and more basic that drives disordered relationships with food and body — the longing to love and be loved.

That’s where perfectionism comes from.  Love is perfect, complete, at ease.  No disharmony within the self or relationships.

Yet, in our limited world, our limited bodies, psyches, relationships, dis-ease and disharmony abound.

This is my story too.

At our core, we just want love.

It’s so non-scientific.  So irrational.

Love doesn’t fit well into our evidence-based world of psychotherapy.

Yet when it comes to health of mind or body, without love, what good is recovery from an eating disorder or any other dis-ease?